I have always been fond of the game of soccer. In spite of its plebeian origins and popularity, which, in a studious family like mine, was an activity associated with loud and rowdy crowds - essentially a Roman circus where the plebe eats and screams its frustrations and misfortunes out of its angry lungs – I must confess that the unpredictable movement of a ball and the intricacies of teamwork exerted a strong pull in my teenager’s imagination. I don’t mean to be a classist, but soccer was not a permitted subject of conversation in my household. My passion for it grew over time. However, it still remains attached to international tournaments, not to the national championships, of which I know little. So, how can I write about soccer?

The appearance of a red Duetto on the movie The Graduate (1967) was a fleeting moment for Alfas and Italian cars in general. Little happened back then, except the introduction of a few hundreds cars, some still running. 

With a wishful name, FIAT’s recent purchase of Chrysler is a great opportunity for introducing to the U.S. FIAT’s utility cars. The epitaph “Fiat Lux” was pronounced in the Genesis, where things happened in an unbelievably busy week. Trust me, this time the task will not be accomplished in a short period of time. It will require the work of genius. By the way, as some of you may know, God rested on Sunday. What you may not know is that God pronounced the fatidic words: pizza on earth! (it was omitted in the Old Testament). The basic recipe – salt, olive oil, anchovies and oregano – was soon implemented by mankind – and what a result! But cars are the subject.

The appearance of a red Duetto on the movie The Graduate was a fleeting moment for Alfas and Italian cars in general, but we all know that a FIAT could not compare to an Alfa. Both Chrysler and FIAT are notorious for brilliant, early achievements like the stunningly regal 1958 Chrysler 300 model – a true American Graffiti icon – the latter for the glorious 1954 Millecento Fiat, the cartoonish Topolino B and C, and the immensely popular Cinquecento. Those were the glorious days, as all these models belong to history. Afterwards, both companies became famous for their poor quality of construction and their mechanical unreliability. In fact, both companies need reorganization and a new image. Would the need for cool-looking, modestly-priced, fuel-efficient vehicles help getting these old dinosaurs a marketing face-lift? I seriously doubt it. Short of Jeep, Chrysler is just a shell, with both, engines and design stuck in the middle ages of car making. FIAT has far better engines and design, especially below the 3-liters, but has a bad reputation about the durability of its chassis and interiors, and has failed to develop a new concept-car. I have owned five different FIAT models over the years and I don’t remember a day going by without a new squeak, a bolt or a screw falling off. Basically a FIAT starts coming apart six months after the purchase. This “feature” indelibly branded its name. Not for nothing, Americans have dubbed FIAT acronym as “Fix It Again, Tony!” Only the old Cinquecento was worth its price tag – essential, Spartan, dirt-cheap, fun to ride, easy to repair, could transport over seven teenagers – some say more – could stretch amazing distances with half a liter of gas. It was the Italian 2CV.

In terms of dependence from the mechanic, Alfa’s are not any better, but at the least they have the heart of a racehorse and a gearbox to die for. Now, bad marketing images are hard to shake off, and consumers know the difference between the turn-head elegance and tailored precision of a Lamborghini and the naked practicality of a FIAT, which is to say, they can tell the classic charm of a Valentino dress, with its je-ne-sais-quoi, from the tacky concoctions of Dolce & Gabbana – sorry, fans of D&G. 

But you never know what the fear of a near fall into oblivion can bring to Chrysler. FIAT got the Italians by their jingles, but will not be able to play the same game in the U.S. Here, it must compete with the Japs. Now, can the cinquecento concept take by storm the U.S. market like pizza or spaghetti? Americans have a natural aversion for small cars, but now they are buying Mini Coopers and Smarts like candies. Why? My guess is because they are cute and well-built. Now, can we beat the competition on the matchbox turf? Tough task. Don’t forget that BMW is behind the brilliant revamping of Mini Cooper. It’s funny that Italians can build the best cars in the world, and yet cannot put it together when it comes to prêt-a-porter concepts. What about a mini-Ferrari? I am just kidding, though I guarantee you that if Ferrari came in below the $90,000 mark with a coupe, it would sell cars like candies. FIAT stands at the other end of the spectrum: the blue-jeans car. Go figure what the market wants? For the time being, I suggest we sit back and relax. Let’s celebrate FIAT’s ballsy move and see what punches it throws on its first round.

After all, “Fiat Lux” was written by men – agreed, with some drama – and it was never meant literally but as a metaphor for enlightenment, for coming out of the darkness of the middle ages. It represented the creation of a man and a woman who like sweet apples (another metaphor folks!) and can sin against God’s will – what an invention! What a gift!